ADVERTORIAL · A GRANDFATHER'S STORY
For 51 Years I Wore My Star of David Inside My Shirt. My Grandson Asked Me One Question That Changed It.
I've gone to services my whole life, and in twenty six years at my firm, not one colleague knew I wore a Star of David.
My ten year old grandson found it in about four seconds. Then he asked me a question I couldn't answer.
It was the seder last spring. Eli was sitting on my lap and pulled at the chain, the way kids pull at anything that looks like a toy, and the star came out over my tie.
He held it in his fingers. Then he looked up and asked, "Grandpa, why do you keep it inside?"
I didn't have an answer. I tucked it back in and told him to eat his parsley.
That question stayed with me for weeks.
"Inside, Mikey. Keep it close."
I knew where the habit came from. My grandfather came to this country with one suitcase and a Star of David he'd carried through places I won't describe here. He wore it every day of his life. Always inside his shirt.
When I was about Eli's age he caught me with mine outside my collar and tucked it back in himself. He didn't raise his voice. He just said, "Inside, Mikey. Keep it close. You don't have to show everyone."
I never questioned it. Every morning since, the same routine. Chain over the head, star inside the collar, top button done up. At my wedding it was under my tuxedo shirt. For twenty six years at the firm it was under a white shirt and a tie.
Once, in my thirties, I wore it outside my shirt to work. I lasted until lunch. Nothing happened. Nobody said a word. I just felt like I was standing in the wrong room, so I went to the restroom and tucked it back in.
I'm a proud Jew. I go to services. I've never denied who I am to anyone who asked. But nobody ever had to ask. I had arranged my life so that nobody would.
The photograph from Newark
One evening that spring I went through a box of my grandfather's things that my mother had kept. Papers, a pocket watch, a few photographs. In one of them he's maybe forty, standing in front of the store he opened in Newark. Shirtsleeves, a big smile, and no star. Of course not. It's inside his shirt, where it always was.
I sat with that photograph for a long time.
I'll never know exactly what he was thinking. But I don't believe he kept it inside because he was ashamed. Where he came from, wearing it outside could cost you everything, and he had already lost almost everything once. Keeping it close was how he protected what was left.
And I think, though I can't prove it, that he did all of that hoping his grandchildren would grow up somewhere they wouldn't need to.
That was the part I had never let myself see. I had told myself I was keeping a tradition. Really I was keeping his precaution, fifty one years later, in a life where I had never once tested whether I still needed it. And without saying a word, I was about to hand the same habit to Eli.
I didn't want Eli's first real lesson about that star to be that you tuck it in.
Choosing the one I'd wear in the open
So I made up my mind. From now on it would be outside my shirt.
Then I looked at the star I actually owned. My parents gave it to me when I was a boy, and I love it. But it's about the size of my thumbnail. Inside a shirt, nobody was ever meant to see it. If I was going to wear it in the open, I wanted a star people could actually recognise across a room.
And if I was choosing one to wear every day, I also wanted a chain I could trust. Mine had broken twice and been repaired twice, and I was tired of checking it.
The old one went into my desk drawer, next to my grandfather's watch. That's how I came across a small company called Magen.
Their star is a full size Magen David, about an inch across, so it reads clearly for what it is. It's solid stainless steel, on a twenty four inch chain with a proper lobster clasp. Something you can wear in the shower and forget about. I ordered the silver one.
The morning I left it outside
It came in a deep green box with a white star on the lid.
I opened it at the kitchen table. The first thing I noticed was the weight. My old star felt like nothing in the hand. This one felt like something. The clasp closed with a small click, and I could work it with my own fingers without asking my wife for help, which at my age matters.
The next morning I put it on in the hallway mirror. Chain over the head, the same as always.
Then I stopped, and left it outside my shirt.
I stood there longer than I needed to. At first it looked strange, like seeing myself in someone else's coat. Then it just looked like me.
I did up my top button, put on my jacket, and drove to work with it on my chest. At lunch I didn't go to the restroom.
Beautiful. I wear it proudly
Verified Purchase
- Joel R.
What changed
I'd like to tell you something dramatic happened after that, but mostly it didn't. A few people at work noticed and said it was nice. A man in the elevator touched his own collar and smiled at me, and I understood exactly what he meant.
What changed was smaller than that, and I think it mattered more.
I stopped reaching for my collar. For fifty one years, every time I leaned over a desk or picked something up, my hand went to my chest to check that the star was still inside. I didn't even know I did it until I stopped.
It has been through a whole summer of showers and swimming and yard work, and it still looks the way it did the day I opened the box. I put it on in the morning and I don't think about it again until night.
In June I wore it to Eli's baseball game. He saw it from the field and waved. When he came over afterwards he reached up and touched it. He didn't ask why it was out. He didn't need to.
Perfect size. It is a good weight and looks marvelous. Excellent customer experience.
Verified Purchase
- Muriel T.
What I looked for
If you're choosing one to wear in the open, this is what mattered to me.
Full size, about an inch across (26 × 32 mm), so it reads clearly across a room
Solid stainless steel, pendant and chain, so it stays on in the shower
A 24" chain with a lobster clasp you can close yourself
Silver, gold or black, arriving in a green Magen gift box
I think it's really nice looking and I've been wearing it ever since I received it
Verified Purchase
- Jonathan G.
A second box in my drawer
There's a second green box in my desk drawer now, next to my old star and my grandfather's watch. That one is for Eli. I'll give it to him at his bar mitzvah, and I'll show him the photograph of the store in Newark, and I'll tell him about the man who, the way I understand it now, kept his star inside so that one day we could wear ours out.
I'm not telling anyone how to wear theirs. Some people keep it close for reasons that are entirely their own, and that is theirs to decide.
But if yours has been under your shirt for years and you're no longer quite sure why, it might be worth asking yourself the question Eli asked me.
60-Day Returns
If it doesn't feel like it belongs on you, or on whoever you gave it to, return it within 60 days of delivery for a full refund.